Questions

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” M. Scott Peck

Do you miss home?: I can't even begin to count the number of times that I've been asked this question since I arrived here in March. But just as many times as I have been asked, my response has been the same: Sure, there are people, and things, and foods that I miss from home. But, there are truly just as many individuals, and foods, and traditions here that I love having the chance to learn about and embrace as a newcomer to Argentina and Chaco's cultures. I usually then become an audience-of-one for a mini-lecture on how awesome asados are or how unique the Argentines are in the way they use the Spanish language to communicate with one another.

Do you like it here?: also an inquiry that tops the FAQ list of my life in Resistencia, finding its way into my conversations on almost a daily basis. I respond truthfully that, Yes, I really love my life here right now. Simultaneously, I brace myself for the look of surprise that will almost inevitably cross the face of whoever it is with whom I am talking. Chaqueños tend to be very proud of their culture, and they seem to ask this question about my life experiences here with an earnest search for a real/truthful response. And yet, many exhibit a reaction of relative surprise, even mild shock, when I share that I truly enjoy their homeland, their culture. Sure, there are things that, given the opportunity, I would change (or opt for bringing in from my life in the United States) including, but not limited to, central heating in the winter, less dog poop on the sidewalk and, while they're at it, more level sidewalks to avoid public displays of my clumsiness, a Chinese restaurant,a Mexican restaurant, anything spicy!, and a bit less of the glaring machísmo. Nonetheless, I've come to love Sunday asados, seeing Resistencia come back to life in the evening after her sleepy siesta, the general freedom I have to get from place to place even without a car, taking in the handicrafts, music, cinematic productions, dance, etc. of local artists from both contemporary and traditional practices, and a rhythm of life that "forces" me to enjoy today to the fullest because no one really knows what tomorrow will bring.

What are you doing after your Fulbright grant ends in November?: Over the past few months, this question has also unrelentingly plagued my in-person conversations with individuals here in Argentina and my Skype chats with friends and family in the United States. For a long time my response has been, That's a great question! followed by a shared laugh and run-down of numerous possible post-November scenarios. Any of my dear friends in the states who have recently graduated from high school or college probably know all too well what it feels like to be asked this question-- like an hourglass glued to the table in front of you with its sand streaming through to the bottom half; like final Jeopardy with the stage lights low and that unforgettable 30-second tune playing in the background; like an action movie where the bomb's clock is ticking down to 00:00:00 and you have to snap the right wire to deactivate the explosive and save the city. Feel free to pick your own appropriate analogy for this situation of urgency regarding impending life changes. I do in fact have a "plan" for when my grant ends but I'm going to share a short anecdote first to preface my response...

Several months ago, in discussing the aforementioned, Do you miss home? question, one of my students shared that she was really impressed that "I had been living here since day one of my arrival." I kind of laughed and replied logically, Thanks. Of course I've been living here since I arrived; I suppose it's a kind of personal success that I haven't bailed out. But she insisted on a more philosophical understanding of her comment, clarifying that she had seen other foreigners pass through Chaco and not ever really [attempt to] embrace the Argentine culture in which they were living. She shared, in a nutshell, that she had observed me diving headfirst into learning about life in Chaco, exploring my passions and discovering some new ones, sharing my culture, and finding a way to combine all of these elements to enrich my own life and that of others. During my first months in Argentina, my response that Yes, I like this culture was, more than anything, a statement to reassure myself that my efforts of acculturation in my job and my daily life would eventually pay off. Over time, I actually in love with this city, its culture, its people, and, through my English assistant work, my own language and culture in new ways.

Thus, I had found myself at the crossroads of the What comes after Fulbright? question and couldn't envision myself giving up and leaving, yet, the relationships of trust and camaraderie that I've worked so hard to build over the last seven months. And so, with one English-teaching job secured and another one or two favorable prospects, I will be living in Resistencia again in 2012. There are, of course, uncertainties left to be resolved, primarily the remaining schools in which I will ultimately be working and new living arrangements. However, if these details were already clearly laid out in finite detail, I would question whether I was actually living in the Argentina of loose organization that I have come to know and love. ;) Before I dive into another year, though, I look forward too to re-energizing at home, seeing family and friends, and spending Christmas and New Year's Eve/Day enveloped in some of my favorite cultural traditions. I have no doubt that questions similar to those I have highlighted above will continue to fill my conversations here in the next year; likewise, I can only imagine how my responses will continue to evolve. Without them...well, I would just be an apathetic expat in need of some critical self-reflection therapy.